Вампирский юмор, (Если что смешное то - сюда)

[Lanfir]

Сюда [[IMG]]"http://forums.rpg-world.org/style_emoticons/:)

[Mithras]

Старо, но может кто не знает...Чей копирайт не знаю, но не мой...

When I embraced Alexandria, I was faced with the - ahem - UNIQUE problem
of explaining the Camarilla, the Jyhad, etc. (all very adult concepts, what
would we do without them?  Don't answer that.) to a very young child.  The
result is amusing...
   
Fred's Notes to Alexandria

First, the six traditions.  Memorize these for the test.

  1 - Keep the whole blooducking bit secret.
  2 - The prince is the school principal.  Don't anger him.  His idea
      of a dunce cap has a pointed wooden end.
  3 - Ask the Prince and ME before you create any more vampires.
  4 - Ya need to be introduced to the Prince before you can do anything.
  5 - If you go elsewhere, always show yourself to the Prince.
  6 - Don't kill anybody magical.

Next, Vocabulary.

The Anarchs - Just keep your head down when they attack.  Otherwise, don't bother with 'em.
Blood Hunt    - If one gets called on YOU, RUN, RUN, RUN!
The Camarilla - A very large camel sale.  Buy one hump, get one hump free.
The Prince    - The big cheese, the head honcho, the presidente-for-life.  Avoid him.
The Sabbat    - Bogeymen and bullies.

The Clans

Brujah        - Schoolhouse bullies.
Gangrel          - Cool.
Malkavians    - Us.  Undoubtedly the coolest clan ever.  We rule.
Nosferatu        - They look like monsters.  They're more like "cookie" monsters.
                Give one a cookie.
Toreador      - Adults.
Tremere          - Villains from Disney movies.  Darth Vader was a Tremere.
Ventrue          - Adults.
Followers of Set - See Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.
Ravnos        - Cool, but never take candy bars from 'em.
Daughters of Cacophony - Better singers than Barney.
Samedi        - People in desperate need of flowers.
Lasombra      - Monsters from under the bed, from in the dark.
Tzimstice        - Monsters from the late, late, late, late show.  Dracula.

Humans

The FBI, CIA, NSA, DIA, KGB, MI5, DNA,
Pentex, Scotland Yard, the Society of
Leopold, the Arcanum, and COBRA - Strangers.  Don't get in any cars with 'em.
Werewolves                      - OK, but a bit too hairy.
Ghouls                          - Humans with vamp blood in 'em.  Adults nonetheless.

Other "Stuff"

Frenzy      - Don't worry, be happy.
Death    - Stay away from these: Fire, Sunlight, Stakes, Claws, Teeth, etc.
              Pain is bad.  Don't get hurt.
Disciplines - I know you can "hide", but NEVER play "peekaboo" with
              mortals.  Never look into a Tremere's eyes.

Ну и маленький файлик про верволков